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Home / Articles / Columnists / Talking About Sex /  Who are you sleeping with?
. . . . . . .
Friday, September 5,2014

Who are you sleeping with?

By Dawn Wiggins

Would you rather sleep with your television, smartphone, pet, cookie dough ice cream or your partner? Maybe you would choose all of them…which sounds like it could get kinda sticky. 

When you think about your sex life with your partner, are there things that consistently get in the way of connecting? We often don’t realize how important it is to prioritize sex in our relationships and so we choose what is instantly gratifying instead. 

Sex is a powerful way to connect, de-stress, express love and feel good but it requires effort and the willingness to risk rejection. Prioritizing sex in a relationship communicates to your partner “hey, you are more important than the housework or football”. It also acknowledges our own human wants and needs which include sex.

When we are too tired or overwhelmed to enjoy sex, it is a sign that our lives are out of balance and perhaps we are not taking good care of ourselves. When sex falls off our radar, we often lose sight of other healthy relationship habits such as flirting or complementing our partner.

If it has been a long time since you have experienced these things in your relationship, it may be time to make some changes. Express gratitude towards your partner, recall the things that made you fall in love or attracted you in the first place, flirt and treat your partner as desirable. Notice if it has become awkward or difficult for you to do these things. Observe how your partner responds to your advances; do they respond positively or with defensiveness or hesitation?

Everyone wants to feel wanted…especially the dog…but keeping your relationship healthy and your sex life strong is so much more important than that your pup or kitty has a comfy night snuggling with you. Cuddle with your partner, and reap the rewards all night long, and into the next morning and day!

 

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