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Home / Articles / Columnists / Healthy Living /  Improving Relationships with Emotional Intelligence
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Friday, August 7,2015

Improving Relationships with Emotional Intelligence

By Ashley Dixon  
What is Emotional Intelligence EI ?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, assess and control our emotions. It defines how balanced and mature we are in handling different situations and experiences. It is important to recognize how our emotions affect those around us. Emotional intelligence also involves how we perceive others. When you truly understand how others feel you can better manage the relationships and the expectations. EI is being smart about your feelings and those of others.

Emotional intelligence can be taught and developed.

We can use highly developed emotional intelligence to guide our thinking and behavior. This is an important skill to reinvent ourselves. A high EI can help you to be very successful in your life, world, affairs and business. It is instructive to note that EI is being taught in leadership seminars and courses.

Mastering EI is extremely helpful in managing interpersonal relationships in just about any unexpected situation. It is a priceless skill to apply to intimate relationships. Being in touch with your feelings and perceptive of how others are feeling makes you the girl or guy others will want to be around.

Four skills to master are:

I. Mindfulness is living in the moment and being aware of your feelings and what’s occurring around you

II. Redirecting the energies of emotion to do tasks and resolve problems

III. Managing one’s own emotions, remain in control

IV. Positively influencing the emotional dynamics of a group

Range of Emotions

We all experience at some time or the other: anger, disappointments, betrayal and bereavement. Joy, happiness, success and feelings of elation are feelings we all bask in from time to time.

How do you rank with the following five elements of Emotional Intelligence? On a scale of 1 to 5 with 5 being the highest, how do your score to assess your own EI. The element(s) with the low score(s) is where the work needs to be started.

1. Motivation

2. Empathy

3. Self-Awareness

4. Self-Regulation

5. Social Skills

Be aware of "who you are" and, equally important, "how others perceive you". If you are ready to grow and mature then there are self-help guides to becoming a better person.

Exploring your Emotional Intelligence Analyze your feelings

• Do you know why you feel sad, happy or frustrated?

• Are you aware of what are the triggers?

• Can you easily overcome the not so good feelings?

Do you know your strengths and weaknesses?

• Do you take responsibility for your actions?

• What effect do you generally have on persons around you?

• Are you in touch with the mood and emotions of those around you?

Work on improving your EI by doing the following:

• Walk in the others person’s shoes before being judgmental.

• Step back sometimes and allow others to enjoy the spotlight.

• Acknowledge you have weaknesses.

• Practice remaining calm in unexpected, stressful situations.

• Take responsibility for your actions. Apologize when you have hurt, disappointed or betrayed others.

• Think before you speak or act. Calm down before making decisions.

• Keep a journal of your feelings and emotions for a week or two. Review and analyze how you could respond differently.

• Establish emotional and behavioral boundaries for yourself. Let others know when they have overstepped those boundaries.

 

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