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Wednesday, January 7,2015

Ask Dr. Happy

By Dr. Bob Nozik, MD  
“Dr. Happy” has been speaking and writing on happiness ever since developing his own deep, inner happiness 20 years ago. Bob is Professor Emeritus from UC. San Francisco and is the author of Happy 4 Life: Here’s How to Do It. Dear Readers, please send your happiness questions to “Ask Dr. Happy” at

Dear Dr. Happy, My name is Fred and I am a 25-year-old unmarried, newly minted MD. I was born and raised in a large Midwestern city and have a large, close knit family: parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, plus dozens of cousins. I have had a lifelong dream of living in California; I hate cold weather.

While I love my family, sometimes they can be controlling. Of course, my folks are dead set against me leaving. But, if I don’t go, I’ll feel I’ve lost my dream. If I do go, I know I’ll feel like I’ve let down my family. I just don’t know what to do. Paralyzed Dear ‘Paralyzed,’ Let’s look at the scales to help us with your quandary. On one side, choosing to stay will please your family although you’ll remain in the cold weather you hate. On the other side, you’ll be honoring your dream of living where you wish but you’ll have to deal with the unfamiliar as well as going against your family’s wishes. I believe your best choice for happiness would be to follow your dream.

You have a profession, and it isnow time to express your adulthood by saying something like:

“Thanks, Mom, thanks, Dad, thanks everyone else for getting me to this point, I’ll take over now.” You can still keep close contact with your family and friends even as you follow your dream. By the way, I was in your situation when I graduated medical school and left home to follow my dream of coming to California, and I’ve never been sorry for doing so.


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Also from Dr. Bob Nozik, MD: