I recently heard a kid, a “millennial” I would guess, referring despondently to “kids today.” I chuckled, an actual LOL, as I dug through my purse for the exact change (“old people!”). I suppose this is a right of passage for all generations. We cling desperately to our youth as we quickly condemn “kids today.” Certain that our experience is more authentic, we recall the good old days with nostalgic reverie while lamenting how things are changing, confident that today’s youth are missing out on some crucial element of development. It is true, my parents had to practically beg me to come in for dinner while I used going outside to play as a punishment for my kids. Back in my day (grin) we ran around outside, rode bikes, climbed trees, played kick the can, slept in tents in the yard… all in the name of childhood. We did not, however, walk to school 5 miles uphill each way…. In the snow… just sayin’.
Universally, growing up is about socialization. And socialization, in any era, needs to be balanced with personal growth. Part of our socialization depends on the technology available. Laura Ingalls and friends played Cowboys and Indians with sticks or skipped stones at Walnut Creek. My dad and his friends played soldiers with tiny plastic army figures and shot cans with BB guns. My kids played video games and made their own 8mm videos; and “kids today” are on social media doing Lord knows what, because, lucky for me, I don’t have anyone that age to obsess about. Did I worry that my kids spent too much time indoors in front of a screen? Of course I did. Just like my mom worried I was watching too much TV, and her mom worried that she was spending too much time listening to music. I would argue that the gray hairs earned by each elder generation’s worry about “kids today” were for naught. We all grow up and somehow manage to navigate our world.
My parents had to pull me inside, I had to push my kids outside. The goal was the same: balance. Anyone growing up prior to the past 20 years had to make an effort to be social. Today, being alone requires effort. In either case a balance between the two is ideal. Technology has made being connected the new normal and for those pining for the good ole days, I think it is important to accept that this is not going to change. Just like Elvis shaking his hips didn’t bring an end to civilization as we know it, neither will Snapchat. Naturally parents need to caution, advise and help kids find a balance, just like Pa Ingalls had to warn Laura not to ride too fast on her horse, and my mom told me not to drink from the hose. It’s difficult to imagine what will be next but I am curious to see what my grandkids will have at their disposal that will turn my grown son’s hair gray. Yet I’m confident whatever it is will be just fine, and that generation will grow up just as we did, thinking theirs is the best. But herein lies the problem.
This habit we have of identifying with a pack so strongly that we fail to see the value in others causes rifts between people where there needn’t be. My Generation, My Team, My Politics, My Religion. My oh my! If we can start small by recognizing that we all share this trait of tribalism, maybe we can begin to take a step back and be more open to others. We could begin with Our Humanity.