Is your marriage becoming more fulfilling as the two of you get older? Are you still waiting for the “best is yet to be” part of your marriage? Have you ever considered why that is? I have, and it’s not what you think!
I’ve learned that growing old together is not the part that makes us closer to our partners. Think about that for a moment. We all know that couple who have been married for what seems like forever, yet they don’t even seem to like each other.
Just be cause a couple stays together for many years, that does not guarantee that they will ever have a fulfilling marriage. It’s not the time we spend together. It’s how we GROW together that makes all the difference in our relationships.
Growing requires choosing to be vulnerable. It’s about learning to get comfortable with being uncomfortable so that you can effectively communicate your needs. It’s being willing to listen. It’s learning to seek understanding of each other when disagreements inevitably arise. It’s the choice to consider your partners’ needs and wants as essential as your own. It is accepting that all marriages have challenges. When you are growing together you begin to understand and accept that there will be times when your partner might be selfish or say something hurtful.
You know there will be times when you may feel neglected or unloved. You realize that there will be growing pains, but you know that it will all be worth it!
Can you imagine having deeper feelings of love, trust, and connection? Imagine knowing you can avoid or resolve most of your differences in a loving way.
Imagine having a clearer understanding of one another. Imagine genuinely feeling loved. Imagine feeling more comfortable, happier, and more fulfilled in your marriage. Welcome to The Commitment Stage of marriage. The stage where you have become one. A team. No more resentment. No more power struggles. The “I don’t need you; I choose you” stage.
Did you know that according to The Relationship Institute, less than five percent of couples reach The Commitment Stage? Most couples give up way, way before they ever have a chance to experience the true love and devotion they deeply desire. Isn’t that sad?
So today, consider asking yourself if you are willing to grow in your relationship to get to The Commitment Stage? Or would you rather just keep hoping something will change?