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Home / Articles / Columnists / Monarch for Love /  To Love and Be Loved
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Wednesday, March 8,2023

To Love and Be Loved

By Michelle Hays  
You’ve probably heard that over 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. No shock there. However, did you know that statistics show that approximately 67 percent of all second marriages, and an astounding 74 percent of all third marriages also end in divorce? Think about that for a moment. So many of us fail at what we desire most:to love and be loved. Many keep searching for the “perfect” partner, yet they repeat the same mistakes and end up with similar results. Isn’t that the definition of insanity?

Have we learned to accept the mindset of: “Well, if it doesn’t work out, we will just get divorced. No big deal.”?

Well, let me tell you from experience, it is a big deal, especially if you have children.

Closing the gap between your current marriage and your desired marriage is far less agonizing and stressful than getting divorced will ever be. Okay, okay, so I know what you are thinking. “Things will never change.” “My spouse is selfish.” “I do everything.” “It’s not my fault.”

Trust me, I do understand. I’ve been there. Let me ask you this: Do you really believe that if you learned some simple tips and strategies and applied them, the quality of your marriage wouldn’t change? I can assure you that your spouse wants to feel loved just as much as you do. Very often, we are so focused on ourselves that we do not consider the person we love most. The bottom line is, we all want to make our spouses happy. The challenge is that sometimes we forget how to, or worse, we simply stop trying.

When we get comfortable in our marriages, we take our spouses for granted. I know you feel taken for at times as well. The question is, what are you going to do about it? Reconnecting is easier than you think! First, determine how important a better marriage is to you. Then decide that you want something more, and be willing to take accountability. Consider changing your attitude and mindset a bit. The happiness of your marriage depends on you. Why not start focusing on the positive things about your spouse? You know, those qualities that filled your heart with love when you first met. All those fantastic qualities are still there.

Rediscover them! When you start focusing on those positive qualities and appreciating your spouse, love will expand in a way you didn’t know was possible. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain! Make small changes each day. Be loving. That’s what it takes. Love is a process.

Remember, love is a decision. Choose love.

 

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