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Home / Articles / Columnists / The Art of Letting Go /   Defensiveness
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Wednesday, March 8,2023

Defensiveness

By Jon Ellis  
No one living in a perpetual state of defensiveness enjoys freedom. Those of us who are always reacting defensively to life and to others, live as prisoners behind walls of our own construction. While we may feel safe confined to a limited space, we remain isolated and unable to grow. Buried deep in the heart of our defensiveness always lies fear. Fear of having to suffer more pain by having to relive the unearthed emotional wounds from past traumatic events. Fear of others discovering that, under our mask of confidence, control, and positivity, lies a hurt child with insecurities and vulnerabilities. So painful are some of these memories, that in an effort to protect us, our conscious mind forces them deep into our subconscious, so that we can no longer see or recognize them, visited only by their effect, defensiveness.

Whether the messenger’s intentions are well-meaning or intended to break us down, it is challenging for most of us to listen to hard criticism about ourselves without getting defensive. If our life goal is to attain spiritual freedom, peace and joy, it is not an option to hide from our reactive selves or pretend that the past did not happen. Acknowledge and accept the past with gratitude, as it is forever a part of ourselves. Appreciate how far we’ve come, how much we’ve grown, not in spite of our suffering, but as a result of it, and then like a kite string, release it. There is no need to fix ourselves, for we are fully intact. Never lying within our true self – Soul, the damage that we appear to carry is but a shadowy effect.

The Creator makes no judgments, nor cares about the past, nor should we. Reality exists only in this very moment. The Universe is forever using everything and everyone in our orbit to communicate with each of us, to show us love, to guide us as to how to take our next step. No words are ever spoken by chance. Positive or negative, the message is no accident; even if not understood at the time, it has spiritual significance for us. If someone says something to us that we find offensive or gives us advice that we didn’t ask for, instead of reacting negatively and getting defensive, just say, “Thank you,” for perhaps we should entertain the idea that what is being offered may not only be a helpful gift of insight from an objective party, but a direct message from the Creator and Divine Spirit Itself!

Four decades in the Spiritual Works, Soul Traveler, Time Magazine Cover Artist, Adjunct Assistant Art Professor, Martial Arts Master, and Drawbridge Operations Manager Overseeing 30 Drawbridges in FL and SC. Read and see more: https://www.jonellisartwork.com/

 

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