Why would we associate one of the sweetest states of consciousness known to men and women with something as dangerous as falling? What good ever possibly came from falling? Falling on a tennis court can twist your ankle. (I know about that firsthand – or should I say first foot?) Falling on a ski slope can break your leg, and falling down a flight of stairs can break your neck and maybe even kill you (as we know from the movies). So why would we curse the intoxication of new love by saying that we’re falling into it?
How can a relationship that starts with a fall do anything but fail? Too many times after the rice has been thrown, the wedding cake eaten, and the wedding gifts all put away, relationships start a descent down a slippery slope. Then the bride and/or groom call their divorce lawyers who, at least for serial divorcers, may already exist on speed dial. When the going gets tough, husbands and wives get divorcing.
The problem, of course, with saying “falling” in love, is that we unconsciously set ourselves up to fall. After the intoxication of new love wears off, relationships often flounder and die. Why should we expect anything else, if the very words out of our mouth give us the kiss of death?
More rational people might argue that the expression “falling in love” is just a figure of speech. But the subconscious mind takes the words and thoughts that we feed it literally. As in literally. Did I say literally? It’s high time that we change our language with regard to new love. We need to replace “falling” in love, with “rising” in love, or “growing” in love.
We have a host of expressions that don’t really give love much of a chance. To paraphrase Lennon and McCartney, “All I am saying, is give love a chance.” Consider the following things we say about new love:
“I’m crazy about you.“ “I’m madly in love.” “Love is blind.” Our language and our thoughts associate love with craziness, madness and blindness. Is it any wonder, then, that six in 10 first marriages end in divorce? Let’s change our expressions. What if, instead of saying “I’m crazy about you,” we said something like, “Being with you helps put me in my right mind.” We could make an easy substitute for “I’m madly in love” by saying “I’m peacefully in love.” The expression “Love is blind” would sound so much better as “Love opens my eyes to higher realities.” These changes aren’t hard to make, and I’m certain that they can help our relationships evolve into loving ones that can bring out the best in us, and not doom us to suffering and despair.
Loving another man or woman can lead us to delightful and liberating states of being. It can lead to marriage, children, and a lifetime of growth together. Don’t you think it’s high time we give love a chance to get off to a good start by calling its early, delicious stages something far more positive, like rising in love?
