As we were discussing ideas for this column, someone mentioned an old driver´s education film featuring Disney´s Goofy. You may remember it. Goofy was portrayed as a pleasant, friendly fellow until he got behind the wheel of a car. Then something changed. The mild-mannered neighbor suddenly became impatient, aggressive, and completely unreasonable. It was meant to be funny, but it also captured something many of us have observed for vears.

We´ve all experienced it. The same person who would patiently wait for someone counting out change at the grocery store can become irritated because the driver in front of them hesitated for two seconds after a light turned green. The same person who would never dream of cutting in line at a restaurant somehow feels justified speeding around another vehicle rather than waiting their turn. Then there are the tailgaters. Is there some secret belief that the laws of physics no longer apply if we are running late?

The truth is that most of us have witnessed these behaviors, complained about these behaviors, and, if we´re being completely honest, probably engaged in them ourselves from time to time. Driving creates a strange illusion. We are surrounded by people, yet disconnected from them. We cannot hear their conversations. We do not know where they are going. We have no idea what happened to them five minutes ago or what awaits them five miles down the road. Yet we make instant judgments about them. Someone hesitates at a green light and suddenly they´re incompetent. Someone cuts us off and they´re selfish. Someone drives slower than we´d like and they are an idiot. Within seconds, our brain transforms a stranger into an enemy.

I was reminded of this when my father suffered a medical emergency. His heart stopped, and although the doctors were able to revive him, there were serious concerns about brain damage. I was driving to the hospital while talking to my sister in New York. My emotions were running high, my mind was racing, and I was desperate to get there. That day, every slow driver felt like an obstacle. Every red light felt personal. Every delay felt unbearable. I was not angry at those drivers. I was scared and I couldn´t get to my dad fast enough. But fear often wears the mask of frustration.

Thankfully, I arrived safely, and didn´t hurt anyone else but the experience taught me something I have never forgotten. We rarely know what the person in the other vehicle is carrying. Maybe they´re rushing to a hospital. Maybe they´re headed to a funeral. Maybe they just lost their job. Maybe they´re caring for an aging parent, worried about a child, struggling in their marriage, or simply having one of the hardest days of their life. Or maybe they´re just trying to find the right block or driveway. Whatever the reason, their story is usually far more complicated than the one we´ve created in our head.

One of the things I teach when it comes to relationships is that our feelings are real, but the stories we create around those feelings are often incomplete. The same principle applies on the road. Someone does something that frustrates us, and within seconds we assign motive. They don´t respect me. They´re inconsiderate. They´re a jerk. The truth is, we just don´t know what they are going through. Do we?

So next time someone triggers you on the road, challenge yourself to consider what the driver´s story may be. What if the driver who hesitated was distracted by bad news? What if the person driving too slowly was lost? What if the person who made a poor decision simply made a mistake, just like we´ve all done? Giving someone the benefit of the doubt doesn´t excuse unsafe driving, but it may protect us from carrying unnecessary anger for the rest of the day. The next time someone does something foolish behind the wheel ... and let´s be honest, eventually they will ... try a different response. Turn up your favorite music. Take a breath. Let it go. Refuse the invitation to join someone else´s chaos.

What if we approached driving the same way we hope others would approach us on our worst day ... with a little patience, a little grace, and a little benefit of the doubt? Because someday, without meaning to, you may be the distracted driver. You may miss the light turning green. You may hesitate at an intersection. You may make a mistake. And when that day comes, you´ll probably hope the person behind you chooses compassion over a horn. Perhaps the question isn´t why other drivers make us so angry. Perhaps the question is why a stranger´s mistake has the power to change who we become.