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Friday, October 4,2013

Ask Dr. Happy

By Dr. Bob Nozik, MD  


Dear Dr. Happy, Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve dreamt of getting married in a mountain top setting. Well, my fiancée George and I are going to actually do it in the fall. We’ve invited our family and all of our friends, nearly 100 people in all. The problem is that more than two-thirds of them say they won’t be able to attend because it’s either too far or they can’t afford to come. I’m crushed! My dream has turned into a nightmare. It’s too late to cancel and change plans due to high cancelation fees. Dr. Happy, I’m so stressed out, so unhappy, all I do is cry. Also, I’m furious with my friends and family for letting me down. I hate beginning my marriage on such a negative note. What can I do?


Desperate Dear Desperate, Childhood marriage ceremony fantasies rarely take into account the costs and travel difficulties guests would have to incur. Welcome to reality. Don’t blame those who can’t make it. A mountain top wedding is a lot more difficult for most people to attend than one in town. So scale back your plans. A wedding with 20-30 guests will differ from one where 100 are in attendance, but both have advantages and disadvantages. Accept the reality that you will have a smaller, more intimate, more personal-sized wedding. And, when it comes to weddings, bigger is not necessarily better. Even more important, step back a bit and don’t allow your disappointment to infect what is good. Your fantasy-come-true wedding is actually happening. Rejoice and enjoy.


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